Want a Better Life? Get a Coach
Details on the empowered life and the growth of an industry
BY Tina B. Eshel
If I asked you to pause for a moment and empty your mind of all thoughts, you would likely find this very difficult. The average person has hundreds of thoughts flying through his or her mind at any given moment. The unquiet mind is what has brought rise to “mindfulness,” the omnipresent word that encourages people to be present, thoughtful, and cognizant of only this exact moment. The idea is that with mindfulness comes changes in destructive habits of never-ending thought loops that keep our minds spinning.
Coaching can help, but what exactly does a coach do and how does it differ from therapy?
Suppose you want to run a marathon. If you went to a therapist, she might say, “let’s discuss your experiences with running. Why do you want to run? What does running mean to you?”
A coach, on the other hand, is more likely to say, “What’s your goal? I’ll help you achieve that goal so you can have your best possible run.”
Lisa Sawicki is a life coach who specializes in what she calls Self Coaching. The idea for Self Coaching came from a professional “ah-ha” moment.
“I realized that in my coaching practice that all of us are coaching ourselves, one thought at a time, 16 hours a day. We all frame our reactions, live with our feelings and shift our feelings 16 hours a day.”
As important as regular sessions with a coach can be, the time in between sessions is where new habits are either formed or forgotten.
“Unless I teach people how to daily Self Coach then when I’m not there to help them through challenging emotions, decisions, and actions they will not be able to make progress. I knew I wanted to teach each client that their internal dialog is the how they are coaching themselves.”
What does it mean to Self Coach?
“It means first of all that you listen to yourself.” Sawicki says. “Listen to your self talk. From the moment we are up, our minds are talking to us. We listen to ourselves and we direct our day, our emotions, what we do, and don’t do. We are our own coaches but when we actively work to control the chatter of our minds we have to pause to feel and to think, to see if the thinking is clear.”
The Self Coaching possibilities are endless – whatever your need. There’s a coach for you whether it’s business, relationships, or parenting. In addition to Self Coaching, Sawicki works with clients who are struggling with boundaries and narcissism.
“The common thread of a narcissist is to make people feel inadequate. They use shame, fear, and guilt to manipulate. It’s very confusing because the narcissist can look like they have it together.”
Narcissistic Personality Disorder is a mental condition in which people have an inflated sense of their own importance, a deep need for admiration and a lack of empathy for others. But behind this mask of ultra-confidence lies a fragile self-esteem that’s vulnerable to the slightest criticism, she explains.
A Narcissistic Personality Disorder causes problems in many areas of life, such as relationships, work, school or financial affairs.
Sawicki coaches people who are narcissists or who are deeply involved with a narcissist. “Once you go through my program you learn what narcissistic traits are and how to protect yourself and your emotions through understanding and boundary setting techniques.”
She has been coaching for years but she just recently received certification from the International Coach Federation.
“We are in the world where accreditation means a lot to a lot of people … I wanted to get trained. My three accreditations brought me further along. I was able to morph my skills, talents and intuition into something that is solid.” Sawicki says.
Clients generally work with her for six sessions although some just want one session and others stay with her for a year or more, all with the intent to get better at “scheduling our doable and attainable actions.”
“Self Coaching involves looking at one thought at a time. We change our life, one thought our time. We power our life, one thought at a time. I help individuals break down their thought and self-analyzing processes to create new possibilities for action.”